Baby Crazy

I think I have refrained from telling him I'm gonna eat him up, because that makes me feel like the evil, child eating witch from Hansel & Gretel story, but he's definitely going to know he's beautiful because I am constantly telling him that. Robin's baby is so sweet! Even when he's pissed to high heaven because seconds have passed since he realized it was time to eat; his cries are cute. And, oh yeah, I wondered if I would think his poop didn't stink, it doesn't. Every little thing he does is magic. I stayed away for a few days. Made him some newborn gowns to lounge in. I think about him all the time. I went to see them yesterday. Helped give him a bath. He didn't like it :( I certainly hope he grows accustomed to them. Although, if he come to play at Gigi's, he can get just as dirty as he wants. Oh, Charlie, we're going to have fun playing with you when you get a little bigger. Gosh, he's pretty!

Good Morning, Cake

Alrighty, then, old lady found the Pandora. Blind Melon Radio is AWESOME!!!!!!!
A golden bird that flies away,
A candle stickled flame, (Hey!)
To think I held you yesterday,
Your love was just a game.

Now Blister in the Sun is on:)

Haha! So old!

Having a hard time waking up this morning. I was snoozing so good when the radio went off. The crazy dreams have subsided. Maybe it was the carbs. I added carbs back to our diet for a few weeks. My sugar could have been going crazy in my sleep. It's happend before, but I dreamt of strange food combos.

MMMMM! This coffee is GOOD! Trying to decide if I should make my living room curtains today or if I should go see my Robbie. I wish I could run, but I've got the curse. I'd really like to go crawl back in that bed...nope, can't do it. If I go back to bed, then you know I'm bad off.

Suppose to rain today. Looked more like rain yesterday morning, but it didn't.

My attention span is that of a hound puppy this morning. My mind is 90 to nothin', and some of my thoughts stop short of a new idea.

Elizabeth Taylor died. I liked her acting. I watch her in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof over and over again. Maggie the Cat, trying to get her husband to give her some lovin'. Talking sweet to him, hoping all the spiteful words that have been said will be forgotten and he will grab her up and kiss her passionately. Snarling drunk, but beautiful Brick. A great work.

Your mother...

...And that's all I have to say about that. ...

Stupid Snakes

I'm terrified of snakes. I don't like insects and spiders, but I've learned to live with them. Snakes are on my mind daily, thanks to the upstairs bathroom incident. I know how it got in and that it can't happen again, but it doesn't stop me from looking behind the toilet, where the nasty thing was when I entered the bathroom that morning, undressed and hopped in the shower, and then in the closet where I caught it making it's escape under the door. GEEZ shiver....

So I woke up from a dead sleep about 5:30 this morning because I was dreaming that I was walking up our sidewalk when a rattlesnake that looked to be about 2 foot long, but really fat in the upper part of it's body came popping out of a hole near the porch, wiggling his tongue at me. He struck at me (seemed male) and rattled his buttons. Then, just as he began to chase me, I woke up. My dreams a vivid, huh? I do have a little anxiety about hiking and camping this summer. I'm afraid of heights, too, but I followed Eric up on top of that boulder this weekend. Haha, then wondered what I'd gotten myself into as I looked down and realized that I wasn't going to be able to stay up there and getting down might end up hurting. Thank goodness Eric helped me.

I'm afraid that a snake will bite me and it will hurt or kill me. The case is similar with heights. I'm not so much afraid of heights, just falling. Less cowardly and more smarts, I think. Still, I need to work on these things.

Lee leaning against the ladder to the loft at the Blue Mtn Shelter on the Pinhoti.
PS If anyone ever plays a snake related trick on me, I will never speak to you again. I'm thinking that a rubber snake prank would kill me though. My heart is beating irregularly just thinking about it.

Rain, rain, go away...

Life's a garden, dig it?

I shouldn't be wishing the rain away. I love it. It's so good for all things green. However, the darkness, chill in the air and soothing sound it makes doesn't make me want to leap to my feet in the morning. Poo! We had some good snuggles going when the alarm went off for the second time, which meant we had to roll our asses on out of bed and take hold of the new day we'd been given. "Let's do this thing" often crosses my mind. We've been weighing every morning. It's a new thing. I'm hating it. I can't report that we've lost any weight really. We're both working out. Lee is hitting the recumbent religiously and has been doing push-ups every morning. I have been jogging several days a week, spinning and doing my sit-ups (when I remember to). I've, also, attempted to add some free weights to my routine. PAIN! My upper body is in terrible condition apparently. I'll do some reps, and a couple of days later wonder who beat me the hell up. They're the devil, for sure. I'll be loving them again in a month or so though. Like butter. I'm ready to spruce up the house with new curtains. Need to find time to scan the fabric stores and find what I like....love. This house is such a mess right now. Spring fever has scattered my brain. Not that it wasn't already. I feel the need to apologize for my consistent lack of attention.

Joe Dirt is awesome. If you say you like the movie, but you don't grasp his upbeat philosophy, you're full of shit.

Very Weird Blog...Mostly Drivel

I have lots of opinions. I try to keep them to myself. Never ask me what I think on a subject unless you really want to know. I really wish I could keep my mouth shut on more subjects than I already do. When I was young, I didn't talk much. And, gosh, it's nice not to have to talk to people at work anymore. Working at Alfa wasn't so bad, there was always lots of work to do...always a customer coming in for service. Wait, that's not true, regardless of how busy one might be, there was occasionally an agent who wasn't busy, that wanted to get in your business, especially female agents. And at State Farm, busy or not, there was always someone leaning into your cubical, trying to get to know you. I sound like an old grouch. However, I was paid to be there working, not to entertain. There is a reason I'm like this. I haven't quite figured it out yet, but I'm still having nightmares that conjure up the emotions I had as a child when people, on purpose or not, made me feel bad about myself. I don't know what that means, or how it happens. An example would be of me standing in a group of people (girls) and everyone is involved in a conversation that I desperately want to be included in, but every time I open my mouth to speak, someone else talks over me or the topic has changed, they've moved on. I think I was just too slow and soft spoken, too, because if I ever did get a chance to get a word in edgewise, they must not have been able to hear me because I would just get a glance, if that. So, I was thought of as the quiet type. I hate being invisible, but I hate being noticed for being a bumbling idiot worse. And I hate these dreams that I keep having, that put me back in that awkward position. Why are these images of people from my past taunting me? Flashes of family, friends, co-workers, mere acquaintances even, rolling their eyes and smirking at one another, over how I look, something I've said, or the fact that I'm trying to be part of their group, I don't know. Don't you know that if I knew, I would have tried to fix it. Except you can't fix poor. Not when you're a kid, anyway. Thank goodness the grunge look was in when I went to college, and it was all the rage with the Montevallo art crowd, so I got a little reprieve. I blame this self-tormenting that I do on social networking. Haha! It's my fault but there must be something/someone else to blame, right? I log on and there they are, friends that I was never friends with, with their updated statuses. And there I am, not saying a thing, because I don't think I have anything worthwhile to say. This has to be why they are on my mind, in my dreams, and still treating me like I'm the invisible girl starring in a John Hughes film. I do wake up feeling like a nothing. Luckily, I can roll over and look at my dear beautiful Lee sleeping beside me and know it's not true. And then, around the time he leaves for work, I get a second reality check, a phone call from my angel of a friend, my seester, Robin; she likes a good '80's movies, though :D

So after rolling all this around in my head, I realize that I, simply, am who I am. And sometimes that means being that little kid in my dreams, and besides, I'm used to the strange looks I still manage to steal from people. One must never forget where they came from. Try. Bet you can't.